Mother's Day Out

J took the Punkin today for his weekly visit.  He picked her up at the sitter's house this morning around 11 and when I talked to him around 4, they were out on his boat.  I panicked for a moment till he reassured me that she was wearing a life vest and was sitting nicely on the seat in the boat, not about to hop overboard in search of her "sishie" friends.  To be honest, I'm not sure she knows that sishies live under the water that she was sitting on.  But that's okay, she has plenty of time to learn.

As much as I love the idea of her dad teaching her to love the water and being outdoors, it kinda bums me out that I'm not the one doing that.  I don't own a motorcycle, I don't own a boat, I don't even own a life vest I could use to take her OUT on a boat if I had one.  I really want to take her canoeing, but I think she's too young to understand that she has to SIT STILL at all times or the damn thing will tip over.  I'd like to take her hiking but her love of exploring and running away from Mommy would leave me running through poison ivy, trying to catch her and wrestle her back into a stroller.  Eventually I will do that outdoorsy stuff with her, but I wish I was the one able to do it now.  I know even in 2 parent families there's always going to be one parent who does all the "fun" stuff and one person who has to be the boss, but it totally sucks.  She's going to associate his house with playing with other kids and going out and doing fun stuff and my house with being at the sitter's all day, then naps and baths and mommy not being able to play because she's cleaning.  I need to work on making sure we do lots of fun stuff together, just the two of us.

So since Punkin is with her dad, I decided to go do something I haven't done since before she was born: I got a pedicure.  It was soooooooooooooo lovely!  Someone pampering my feet and painting my nails... ahhhhhhh.  I feel like I'm supposed to feel sad and lonely when Punkin is with J.  Like I'm not supposed to enjoying anything I'm doing while she's not here.  On some level I do, but today, for the first time, I really and truly enjoyed my "Konnie" time.  It was great to be able to relax and have someone take care of me for a just a little while!

Even if I did have to pay for it. :-)