Polly Wanna Cracker?

Julianne is a like a little parrot. Her new favorite phrases are "Good girl" and "Bad girl." She's been saying "Good girl" for a while, but didn't start the "Bad girl" stuff until recently. Nana was watching her and she did something naughty, so Nana said, "Bad girl!" and she's been parroting it ever since. It's cute, but I hate to hear her say it because I don't want her to think she's bad. She knows what it means, too - in the evenings when she starts to get ornery, she'll say, "Bad girl!" and then she'll do something like hit me or throw something. She is so smart!

She's also ALL toddler. Lately she's been getting into the habit of putting things on her head and running around. Last night Pete was over and she put her plastic Halloween bucket on her head and ran around laughing like crazy. Then tonight we were over at Nana and Pap-Pap's for dinner, and when I was cleaning up the kitchen she got into the tupperware cabinet and tried on a bunch of different plastic "hats." It was hysterical to watch - especially because she was so pleased with herself!

She ate like a horse at dinner tonight! We had pizza burgers with noodles on the side, so she had two helpings of noodles with sauce. And they weren't wimpy servings, either - they were hearty! After dinner, she had one of Nana's oranges for dessert. She's been eating a lot of oranges lately. She had them for breakfast the last two days, then had a banana, grapes and some mixed berry Yo Baby! yogurt for breakfast today. She currently has really bad diaper rash, so I'm wondering if maybe all the acid and sugar from the oranges isn't causing it. We have one more orange for breakfast tomorrow and then we're doen, so we'll see if the rash goes away. She really enjoyed the yogurt, so maybe we'll have some of that tomorrow morning!

I am SO excited for Christmas! Not for me, but for Julianne. I can't wait to see how she reacts when I help her open presents and when I show her how to get stuff out of bags and out of her stocking. I don't think we're going to put out cookies and milk for Santa this year - we may wait till next year. But I AM going to wait to put out her Santa presents till after she goes to bed tomorrow night! Uncle Tiger has to work on Christmas Day so after we get up, open presents and have dinner, he's heading back to Tampa and then Julianne's daddy is coming to pick her up for Christmas with his side of the family - she is a very lucky little girl to be having TWO Christmases with TWO families that LOVE her VERY much!

Saw this rainbow today after school... it had been off and on raining and sunny.  The two finally collided and this was the result - isn't it glorious to see a full rainbow on the day you get out of work for 16 whole days?  I know I think so!

STRESSED OUT!!!

I have been so stressed out this week. The first thing that's driving me nuts is this stupid COLD I have. Of course, an already stressful week wasn't enough... I had to get sick. Ugh.

It's the week before Christmas break so the kids are INSANE. Today (L) went to the Christmas shop and bought a little ceramic snowman. (A) stole it out of (L)'s desk and tried to pass it off as her own... TO MY FACE. Like I'm stupid or something and wouldn't notice. Then this afternoon in the hallway for car riders, these kids DONE LOST THEIR MINDS. I screamed at them, "ARE YOU INSANE?!?!?" They got REAL quiet, REAL quick. And you could see by their faces they were thinking, "Um, we're not, but you might be!" I almost lost control... they were so terrible.

Julianne is driving me nuts. She learned how to undo the cabinet latches and learned how to climb on the entertainment center. Every time I would pull her down, she'd get back up because she thought it was a big game. Then I put her in brand new jammies after her bath and while I was trying to figure out how to keep her off the entertainment center, she grabbed my water bottle and spilled the WHOLE thing all over herself. I had to change her entire outfit, diaper included. I was so frustrated.

Also, this morning she took of her diaper and peed on the floor. NICE.

She's definitely getting the "Flush-And-Sing-Royal-Stepstool-Super-Duper-Potty-Of-Awesomeness" for Christmas.

All Lit Up!

Here's King Midas all lit up... a crappy picture, but you get the idea!

King Midas!

I must be getting back some good karma... yesterday I got a free burrito at Chipotle, and I don't even LIKE their food (although the burrito was pretty good) and today I got a faboulous Christmas tree for only $20! (Originally $60) Here's King Midas the tree on his way home!

Heavy Heart

Tomorrow night Julianne is spending the night with her dad. This is the FIRST time she's spending the night away from me and only the second or third time anyone other than myself has put her to bed. My mom is the only OTHER person who has put her to bed.

I'll see her tomorrow at NOON when Joey brings her to school for me to say good-bye, and then I won't see her again till TUESDAY afternoon.

My stomach feels sick, my head feels full, my heart feels heavy.

I hate this.

Holy RAIN, Batman!

I woke up this morning to RAIN outside... lots and lots and lots of RAIN.


I had to take the day off work to take care of all my car crap and it would have been nice to have decent weather for all the running around, but NO SUCH LUCK.

I talked to Pete last night and he said he would take me to the DMV to deal with the license issue, so I called him when I woke up. I could tell I had woken him up and I thought he was mad for having to leave the house, especially when it was so SHITTY outside. So I started crying but I didn't want him to know - I told him, "You know what, it's OKAY, don't WORRY about it, I'll figure SOMETHING out, talk to you later, bye." And we hung up.

So then I panicked a little bit. Who to call? What to do? Where to go? Lynx doesn't run here, and all of my friends had to work today (except for one, and for some reason it never even occured to me to call her!). So I called my mom, who was IRRITATED too, so I hung up. She called my dad and had him call me, and we arranged for him to take me to the County Clerk's office and the DMV.

He picked me up, we went to the post office, we went to the shop, then we went the the Clerk's Office. Thankfully I got everything taken care of and we didn't have to go to the DMV.

So we went to Chick-Fil-A for lunch instead.  And Pete texted me and everything's FINE.

After lunch we went back to the shop and Mom and I took Julianne and went to the post office to ship some packages overseas and it was AWFUL... the weather was WET, I slipped on the wet FLOOR and hit my ELBOW, the people at the post office were RUDE, they wouldn't take three of the packages because the were in the WRONG box, and I slipped on the floor going back into the shop and hurt EVERYTHING.

After all that nonsense we had CHINESE for dinner... then Mom and Dad brought us home.

I didn’t hear from the insurance ADJUSTER today… so I need to call tomorrow to find out about getting my stupid CAR fixed. Ugh.

Car accident

So just this morning I was thinking, "Wow... I could really use a car accident to add some drama to my life! I really want to go to the DMV, and call insurance companies, and go to the doctor because my neck hurts... Yeah, let's sign up for that!"

NOT.

But I guess someone somewhere thought that's what I was thinking. Because that's what happened this afternoon. After I picked Julianne up from the sitter's I was driving home along Hiawassee like I normally do. As I got closer to Clarcona-Ocoee Road, I noticed there were cops all over the place blocking off the intersection but it wasn't clear why, so I just kept on trucking. I had just passed through the light when the guy in front of me stopped quickly. I stopped too and then was rear-ended, HARD. Julianne got scared and started crying, so I jumped out of the car to get her. The cops that were in the Hiawassee/Clarcona-Ocoee intersection came running over to check and see if we were okay. We seemed to be, so they had us pull to the side of the road and called Florida Highway Patrol. While we were waiting, I chatted with one of the officers and told him about Kurtis being a cop in Hillsborough County. He gave Julianne a little stuffed bear with Orange County Sheriff's Office embroidered on the front and told her to show it to her uncle and tell him she met a "REAL" deputy today, lol. It was very funny.

After a while the officers blocked off Hiawassee so that the other lady and I could drive our cars over to the Winn-Dixie parking lot to get off the road. The officers assured us that FHP was on the way and they left. An hour and a half later the officer showed up. Everything seemed to be going smoothly until the office asked me if I knew my license was suspended.

"I'm sorry... WHAT?"

She pulled up my records on her computer and showed me that somehow, some way, I received a ticket on July 24th (no I didn't) that was never paid (obviously, since I never got one) and because of the non-payment (that wasn't necessary since I never got a ticket) my license was suspended (LAME). So she took my license, and I had to call my parents to come pick me up since I wasn't allowed to drive (even more LAME). So I looked up everything on line and it says that my case (which never existed) was satisfied (their words, not mine - it said that in TWO places). So tomorrow, not only do I have to get my car to the adjuster so they can make an estimate on how much it's going to cost to get it fixed and make plans for THAT, I also have to spend the morning either on the phone or at the clerk's office or the DMV, trying to get my stupid license back (which never should have been taken away).

After she FINALLY got us all the proper paperwork, I wound up getting a ticket for unknowingly driving on a suspended license, and the other lady got a ticket for careless driving and for driving on a learner's permit with no passenger older than 21 in the car (she was about 45 years old - still on a learner's permit?)

So I'm PISSED.

Sooooo tired...

Date #4 went well last night... he came over and brought Chinese food. Julianne LOVED him. She was all over him - climbing, jumping, bringing him books to read, giving him hugs - it was really adorable! After she went to bed we finished watching Fred Claus and then we watched Sex Drive - both hilarious! We wound up staying awake talking until he finally left at 2 a.m. And even then, he only left because I had to wake up for work in 4 hours! I really enjoyed the evening. He was going to come over for dinner tonight, but would up having some family issues and decided not to come over because he was in a terrible mood and didn't think he'd be very good company. I asked if I could have a raincheck on making him dinner and he said, "Absolutely!" So hopefully I'll see him again soon!

Please pray for Bonnie and her DH... I don't know exactly what's going on, but I have a sick feeling that it's something terrible with the birthmother changing her mind.

Dear Lord... please give me patience...

Julianne's dad is driving me nuts... he's not doing anything that bad, but he is so flaky sometimes I can't stand it!  Saturday night we talked about how he really wanted to take Julianne overnight Sunday night and keep her all day Monday. Now that she's had some good visits with him, I'm all for letting her spend time with him, even extended periods of time, but I still haven't left her overnight and I don't think I'm ready for that yet. So he kept pushing me and I told him I would think about it and let him know in the morning. Well, he texted me at the crack of dawn Sunday morning telling me how he went grocery shopping and has all this great food for her and got a playpen for her to sleep in, etc. I didn't text him back right away and he started to get pushy again, telling me he really wanted her to start staying at his house and it was time he got to spend more time with her, etc. So I finally told him I wasn't ready to let her go overnight yet, but we would shoot for next weekend. So he seemed to be okay with that. Then this morning he texted me before I was even out of bed to ask if he could pick her up from the sitter and keep her for the day. I told him I had a doctor's appointment this afternoon so he had to bring her back to my school by 3:30, and he said he'd just bring her to my house later, after my appointment. So I said okay, rushed around getting extra clothes, juice, toys, snacks, diapers and stuff for her and was really late getting out the door for work. Then I'm halfway to work (running about 15 minutes behind, mind you) and he texts me again to say he'll just wait and take her next week because he doesn't feel like driving all the way to my apartment tonight during rush hour. So my car is strewn with all of her extra stuff, I'm fifteen minutes beind schedule, I'm trying to keep the schedule straight as to what day he's going to take her, and my glasses are STILL broken from when Julianne broke the arm off yesterday.


AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

This is a test post from my phone... <Konnie>

Being Julianne's Mom

Tomorrow I have to go back to work after being off for Thanksgiving break for a whole week, and I am NOT excited about it. It has been so nice being off with Julianne for a week. I really enjoy spending time ith her. She makes my heart happy... every time I look at her I am reminded how lucky I am. There are so many women out there who would give ANYTHING to get pregnant and have a family, yet they struggle for it, and it's not fair.
Julianne is everything to me - she is my world. Every time I look at her face, my heart warms and I get choked up. She is beyond anything I ever could have imagined I would have in my life. She's a lot of work, I won't deny that. But the rewards of being her mother are innumerable. She is SO smart! She understands everything I say to her, she loves to read books and look at pictures, she is strong, sweet, and independent. She is absolute perfection. I want more children so bad... I never intended Julianne to be an only child. She loves other kids and I know one day she will make a wonderful big sister. I find myself really hoping this thing works out with Pete so that the idea of more children isn't too terribly far off in the future. I understand the need to find the right person, because I certainly don't want to have kids with somone who doesn't want them or won't help take care of them. But is it wrong to hope that I have either found that person or that I find them soon? :-)

Here We Go Steelers, Here We Go!

I'm watching the Steelers/Baltimore game. It didn't start off so hot - Baltimore scored on their first possession and I started to get a little nervous because we've lost the last two games, both of which we games we SHOULD have won. Anyway, I think on our second or third possession we scored a touchdown and for one brief, horrifying moment, I thought Tomlin was going to tell them to go for 2 and I was going to kick his ass. But he didn't. So I was doing okay for a while until about a minutes ago when Baltimore had a 54 yard gain. This is ridiculous. We have a 3rd string QB in because Ben got his bell rung last week and started having headaches, and Charlie Batch had surgery on his wrist this week, so he's out too. Not to mention my MAIN MAN Troy Polamalu is out with a strained ligament in his knee. WTF?!? How are we supposed to win ANYTHING? DAMMIT!!!!!! They scored again! Now we're losing! @#$%^&!!!!! I have to go watch this game... I might start throwing things soon. Argh.

All I want for Christmas is for someone to tell me I can have my next baby naturally!

     So, Julianne was born by c-section.  She was breech, and I never even had the chance to go into labor with her.  When they told me she was breech and it would have to be a c-section, I was DEVASTATED.  I had planned on a natural birth with no medication, laboring in the tub, walking around, etc.  But I wasn't given a choice.  I wish I had done more research before I agreed to the c-section.  Granted, I tried all kinds of things to get Julianne to turn, but it just wasn't meant to be.  Even the doctors tried to turn her with an ECV, but she didn't want to go, so off to the OR it was.  While I was in there, the epidural didn't take completely and I felt a lot of pain on the left side.  It truly was miserable.  I didn't get to see Julianne as soon as she was born - they whisked her to the other side of the room to weigh her and clean her up and I didn't get to see her till ten minutes after she was born... it makes me tear up just thinking about it.  How unfair.  How damn unfair.
     So I've joined the ICAN network for Florida and Orlando... and while I was initially excited about hopefully having a VBAC in the future, I've come to learn that Orlando is a very anti-VBAC city.  There are hardly any providers in the city that will let you even try for a VBAC, and the one or two who WILL require a huge up-front cash payment, which I don't know if I'll be able to cover.  There is certainly the option of a home birth, but I just don't think I'm into that.  I'm not attached to my home, and I can't pinpoint why, but I would feel better about having a baby in the hospital.  God knows why, especially when they'll be pushing for me to have a c-section at every turn, but I can't get my mind around a home birth.
     Granted, I'm not pregnant or even TTC at the moment, but one day I WILL have another baby and I'm trying to get all the information I can.  I think it really sucks that so many doctors and hospitals think birth is something medical that needs to be "cured" by having a c-section, when in reality, women have been having babies for thousands of years.  Our bodies know what to do... we just don't get the chance.  Jerks.

Second Date!

Okay, so Tuesday after work I went and picked Julianne up and went to my friend Carol's house, which is down the street from school. I primped and preened and got dressed, then took Juli back to the sitter's house and headed to his place. When I got there we sat on his patio for a while and just chatted until the mosquitoes got us, then when headed to dinner. We went to Macaroni Grill and it was SOOOO good! The conversation was good, the food was good, the company was good, the drawings on the paper tablecloth we cute, the whole shebang. We sat there for quite a while, just talking.



After dinner, we went back to his apartment because he wanted me to watch the new Star Trek DVD. Now, I have never seen an episode of Star Trek, nor a Star Trek movie, and I know next to nothing about Star Trek except there's some guy with big ears named Spock, and that's about it. So I wasn't sure how I felt about sitting through a two hour movie about it. But he really loves the movie (had bought it the night before and already watched it twice) so I agreed. It actually turned out pretty good - I know he was looking at all the sci fi stuff, but I was looking at the hot actor that played Captain Kirk! He kept pausing the DVD to explain stuff to me because I was lost, so it took us about 3 hours to watch a two hour movie.


Anyway, after the movie we had a little more snuggling and a little more kissing... :-) Then I had to leave because it was already past the time I told the sitter I would pick Julianne up. He walked me down to my car and gave me a kiss goodnight and said he would call me today. We've already texted a bit this morning. :-) So I think we're on our way to a third date, and I couldn't be happier!

I had a date!

So, I had a date last night . . . and it went SOOO well!

We've been talking for about a week now - first through e-mail, then through texting, then on the phone. It was very reminiscent of the last guy I was talking to (the one that cancelled on me at the last second) so I was kinda nervous, but I had a pretty good feeling about him. Saturday night we were on the phone for 2 1/2 hours, and we were never at a loss for conversation, which was really nice!

Anyway, last night I met him at his apartment (which I know I should never do on a blind date, but I gave all of his info to my mom, who was watching Julianne so I figured if I got killed and murdered at least she'd know where to find me, lol) and he showed me around. This guy is amazing - he's the smartest person I've ever met in my life. He has a big white board in his apartment where he just works on physics equations. He had a bunch of Rubik's cubes around too - he can complete one in less than a minute! He told me that over the phone and I thought he was kidding me, but I made him do it two or three times and it was more impressive each time. He was in the Navy so he had lots of memorabilia from that too. He also has tons of movies - he's really into film and literature and knows the history behind every movie he's ever seen. I find massive intelligence a MASSIVE turn-on, lol.

Anyway, after he showed me around and impressed me with his huge brain, we went to dinner at Downtown Disney and had Mexican - yum! Then we went mini-golfing. The place had two courses and we played both - so I won one course and he won the other, although he claims he won the whole thing because I beat him by 3 strokes on the first course and he beat me by 4 strokes on the second, so he thinks he won the whole thing. Typical man!

After golf we went back to his apartment and we watched Yes Man with Jim Carrey. I'd never seen it but it was hysterical! We snuggled a bit on the couch and let me just tell you... his kissing skills rival his intelligence skills!

I don't wanna complain, but...

Not only do I have to cook, clean, do laundry, grocery shop, change diapers, read ABC books, get up in the middle of night, clean up throw-up, worry at the ER, find lost shoes, tame tantrums, go to doctor's appointments, shower with the curtain half open and pee with a baby on my knee, I have to go to work all day, five days a week, to earn the meager amount of money that we subsist on. My shoes have holes in them, my clothes have stains, I use rubber bands in my hair instead of hair ties, my bills are all a month or more past due, I eat Ramen Noodles for dinner and wait till the gas tank is on E to fill it up halfway because I don’t have money to fix or replace anything and my daughter comes first when it comes to clothes, shoes and food.

I have to do it ALL BY MYSELF, ALL DAY, EVERY DAY. No one tells me they love me, no one tells me they appreciate me, no one watches the baby so I can run to the store for a forgotten item, I haven't been out of my house past 8 p.m. in over a year unless we're sleeping elsewhere, my house is a mess, my laundry is stacked up and there's trash on the back porch that needs to be taken down. I have no one to discuss the day with, no one to watch TV with, no one to laugh with, no one to fix stuff, no one to kill bugs, no one to lift the heavy stuff, no one to cry with and no one to share a bed with.

But I love my daughter more than life itself and I wouldn't go back and change a single thing I did for her to be here.

Prayers Needed!

This morning when Julianne and I woke up, we went out in the family room and I noticed that she was having a hard time with her balance - she would take two or three steps and then fall over. I was quite concerned but decided to give her a half hour to see if she would "shake it off." I could tell she wasn't feeling really well because she fell asleep on my lap for about 20 minutes, which she never does unless it's bedtime. When she woke up, I put her back on the floor and she couldn't even get into a standing position - just fell right over backwards. I called the pediatrician and while I was waiting for a return call I decided to see if maybe she was hungry and put her in the high chair. I didn't even get her food out before she started projectile vomiting all over the place. Thankfully the doctor called while I was cleaning her up and told me to take her to the ER.


We went to the ER and they took her in right away. She was still vomiting and still had no balance. They did blood work, a urinalysis, and an ear and chest exam - all negative. They also tested for flu and strep - nothing. She just kept vomiting - it was dry heaves and she was crying so weakly - I felt so bad for her. The rehydrated her with saline and did a CT scan. While we were waiting for the results I had several panic attacks and was crying like crazy. They said it would take 45 minutes to get the test results back- 2 1/2 hours later, the doc came and said there was nothing blatantly obvious on the scan, but there was some movement because Julianne moved during the test, so if she's not better in a day or two they'll repeat it. The doctor said he was okay with letting her go home as long as I swore I would take her to the pediatrician first thing in the morning and that if I couldn't get in, I was to come back to the ER immediately and if she wasn't better they would admit her.

We got to the ER at 9:30 and left at 3:30. We spent the rest of the day at my parents' house and she was still having problems - still vomiting, even Pedialyte and breastmilk. Her balance is still very bad. I tried to let her crawl around on the floor and she fell and hit her tooth, making it bleed, so we had her in the playpen so she could bounce off the walls without hurting herself. The doctor doesn't know what 's wrong and it's driving me crazy not knowing! Of course my brain has run every possible HORRIBLE course. It doesn't help that Dr. Google doesn't have any answers for me. The worst part, though, is that she doesn't understand that she can't walk and keeps trying to get up, but keeps falling. It's heartbreaking.

If you could spare some prayers, I would really appreciate it. I'm still worried sick about her but at least she's sleeping for the moment. I think it's the best thing for her at the moment and I hope she's good as new in the morning. I'll update as soon as I have info.



Thank you!

Ah... the weekend at last!

This school year is starting off as very hectic, crazy and busy!  But what else should I expect, right?

Life in general is very busy and hectic.  We had Julianne's birthday party last Saturday, September 5th at Sanlando Park.  It was a nice time!  Pap-Pap grilled hamburgers and hot dogs and Nana made macaroni salad.  I made rice and bought the cakes and the drinks, as well as all of the decorations.  Several people RSVPed that didn't show up, so I had a lot of food leftover, but that's okay.  I can eat it all myself (well, Julianne and me!).  She got lots of nice presents, namely clothes and books, but got some really awesome toys, too.  She's already enjoying playing with everything!  She has such a wonderful little personality - she's a total character!  She rolls around on the floor and arches her back and gives me attitude - I shouldn't laugh, but sometimes it's just so cute to see this tiny little person stick her bottom lip out and start pouting!  I thank God for her every single moment of every single day.  She is honestly the light of my life!

Well, sorry the update is short but it's bedtime!  More will come in the next few days.

First day back

Today was the first day back to school with the kids. I was at work all week last week but it was just teachers and it was so nice to have the quiet time to get work done! My day started off very poorly - I didn't get to bed till after midnight, then Julianne woke up twice even though she's been STTN for a couple weeks now (knock on wood!) so of course I overslept this morning. Once I got to school things got a bit better. The first day, especially the morning, is always kind of quiet. The kids don't really know what to expect so they don't say much. I think I have a pretty good class except for one kid... he drove me insane. He kept throwing fits, crying, refusing to work, kicking his chair... I just wanted to pull my hair out! I told him if he acts like that tomorrow I'm calling his mom to come and get him, because I don't have time for all that. On his third fit, I said, "You know what, go ahead, throw a fit. I have a toddler at home. I'm used to them." And he stopped! It was actually pretty funny. It was also funny how no one ever mentioned this kid was a behavior problem, but the one kid that EVERYONE told me about was perfect today. Just goes to show... sometimes students and teachers just have personality clashes!

Summer's here!

Ah... summer is here and I am in LOVE! Not with the hot weather, of course, but in love with being able to stay home with Julianne. It is so nice to be able to spend every day with her! I did have to take her to Sammie's house today while I went to tutor some boys up in Alaqua, but it was only for a few hours. It did suck leaving her, though - in the past 8 days I've really become accustomed to spending all my time with her! She's definitely becoming more attached to me, which is wonderful (albeit slightly annoying). Friday we're going up to Longwood to spend Father's Day Weekend with Mom and Dad and Tiger's coming in Friday night, so it will be a nice little family weekend.

Saturday is going to suck a bit, though. Mary Goulet passed away last week rather quickly and her memorial service is Saturday morning. We were going to go to the beach, but this is far more important. Mary's husband Clyde asked Mom to do a reading at the service, so she agreed. I don't like funerals and memorial services (who does?) but this one is important to go to. Mary didn't have many friends and Dad and Clyde are good friends, so it would be a huge slap in the face if we didn't go. I'm hoping that Julianne will help lighten the mood a little bit. As long as she behaves herself, that is.

I started Weight Watchers on Monday, and I have to admit that I'm rather enjoying it. It's easy to do when I'm home during the summer- it's a lot harder when I'm working. You'd think it would be harder being home around food, but for some reason, it works for me. I want to lose 22 pounds by the time school starts in August, and I know I can do that. I've done it before, and I will do it again, as long as I stay on the plan. Who knows? Maybe this will be the time I stay on the plan for good and lose all the rest of this weight! I want to lose it all - I am so tired of only being able to shop at two or three stores in Central Florida. I want to be able to fit into regular size clothes - ya know, Small, Medium, Large, Extra Large. I also want to find a husband and have more babies! ;-) I know I can find someone who will love me for who I am as a larger woman, but I know it will be easier if I lose the weight and get into shape. I also have a goal of running a half marathon - maybe not running, but jogging/walking it. And it's not an immediate goal - just sometime in my life, I want to do the Disney Half Marathon. The idea of running all that way is so foreign to me, but I want to do it, and I WILL!

Anyway, I suppose that's it in the way of news. Julianne is doing wonderfully - Mom and Dad set up a kiddie pool on the porch and she enjoys splashing around it. I can't wait for Mom and I to get her in the big pool and let her kick and swim! It's going to be a good summer!

Only 63 hours left!

I only have 63 hours left of contact time with my students, and I AM SO FRIGGEN' excited! I cannot wait for summer. I won't have to work, I won't have to deal with kids who behave terrible, and I can spend all my time with Julianne! I am so excited to be able to spend the summer with her. I miss her so much during the days sometimes I don't think I can stand it.

In other news, it's been raining like crazy for the past three days. I saw the sun out this afternoon for about a minute and I was shocked - it has been so gross and rainy and nasty since Monday. The grass and other plants need it, but I think we're overfull. I think it's still supposed to rain tomorrow, too! But I'm pretty sure it's going to be gone by Memorial Day weekend, thank goodness. We're supposed to meet Mike and Brianne down at Disney for dinner on Saturday so it would be lovely if it was somewhat dry.

Tonight Julianne and I played on the floor after we got home from work and Target. It was fun... she crawled all over the place (including on me) and I took a bunch of pictures of her in her cute little dress that I bought at the consignment shop. I'll post them when I get a chance to upload them... so much to do!

Tomorrow I should hear about whether or not I got the condo. They had two offers and we had to go back in with our highest and best offer and tomorrow they'll tell us who won. Keep your fingers crossed!!!!!

Celebrate Orlando

Today was my fourth trip to Celebrate Orlando, the big scrapbooking shindig that Mom and I go to every year. We look forward to it all year long, and this year was no exception. It was noticably quieter than years past. My CM consultant told me that there were 200 fewer people than in the past, so that's probably why it wasn't as crazy. It was nice, though. Mom won a packet of paper and some stickers, so that was nice that we finally won a door prize - after four years of showing up! This morning we dropped Julianne off at her Grammy's house and I was nervous - not because I thought Patty didn't know what she was doing, but because I didn't want to be away from Julianne that long. I missed her all day long - and it didn't help that I was looking at pictures of her all day, lol. I only called Patty twice, so I was proud of myself. And it turned out that Julianne had a great day anyway. But when I got there, she was so excited to see me!!! It was great. She was bouncing around and calling for me and just really excited. It was so nice to see her. I love that little girl so much... so friggin' much. Sometimes I feel like the love I have for her is going to suffocate me - that's how overpowering it is. My life is so perfect with Julianne... what did I ever do before she came along?!?

Tim's Birth Mom Update

So Tim went and met his mom and they sat and talked for about 2 1/2 hours... he said she's really nice, but it was just like talking to a stranger and he had no emotions at all. I told him that's totally understandable! It turns out she didn't know she was pregnant until she went into labor - she got her period all through pregnancy and only gained 15 pounds. When she went into labor she thought she was having a gall bladder attack and went to the ER - they told her she was having a baby, and there was Tim! (She named him William Charles, but he's just Tim). Tim wasn't actually adopted till he was 7 months old because his birth father refused to acknowledge paternity and wouldn't sign the papers, so Tim spent 7 months in foster care before he went to live with his mom and dad. So she's had three failed marriages (I told Tim that's why he can't hang on to a relationship!) and has no other children because she had ovarian cancer and had a hysterectomy. She's also an only child, so Tim was the only grandchild and he actually talked to his grandmother on the phone in New York. He said he's very glad he met her and talked to her but can't see himself having a deep relationship with her because they don't have much in common. I think he's in shock - his adoptive mom (Meg) is absolutely THRILLED and can't wait to meet his birth mom - she's more excited than Tim!

Holy crap, man!

Oh my gosh, yesterday was the craziest day! I took my kids out to the playground and I was talking to two students when another one came up to me and said, "Ms. Kubec, Clenzie broke his leg." Now, my kids are always telling me they broke this or broke that when it's really just a scratch (no joke). So I said, "Well, I highly doubt that, but let's go take a look and see." Clenzie was sitting on the swings, crying, and I walked up to him and as soon as I looked at his leg, I knew it was broken. His leg was hanging there and there was a huge bump in his thigh. I called the PE coach over and she took one look, then radioed to the office to call 9-1-1. The kids were all crowded around so we sent them under the pavillion because it was starting to rain. When the ambulance got there, it took about 4 of us to get him off the swing, because the way his leg was hanging was so painful. He was screaming bloody murder, and it didn't help that while all this was going on, it started POURING. Like, monsooning. They rushed him into the ambulance and had to put his leg in traction and while I was running to the ambulance, I realized I had left my cell phone and all the baby shower invitations for my friends shower sitting on the picnic table and both the invitations and my phone are now ruined because of the storm. I really didn't care much though because Clenzie was hurt so bad. I went with him in the ambulance to the hospital because they couldn't get ahold of his mom and I wound up staying a good part of the afternoon and early evening until they finally got ahold of his stepdad and he showed up. I saw the x-rays and they were horrible - it was a clean break, but he snapped his femur in half. He had surgery this morning to put rods and pins in, and he's doing fine but I just feel so bad for the kid! I told him when I was four I broke my leg by falling off a chair, but I don't think the story made him feel any better!

Big news for Tim!

Last night my text message chime went off on my phone about 1:45 a.m. I completely ignored it, and then it actually rang at 2:10. I answered it - it was Tim calling to tell me he had found his birth mother! He's been looking for her casually since he was 18 (he's 25 now) and last night he woke up and couldn't go back to sleep so he did a Google search jsut for grins because he was bored, and he found her. He was born in New York City and adopted there and moved here when he was about 7. The totally amazing thing is that he got her name from the Google search and Googled her, and she lives in Winter Garden, Florida, which is ten minutes from where we live (right down the street from each other)! So he sent her an e-mail telling her that he was her son and if she didn't want to be contacted he wouldn't, etc. Well, about an hour later he received an phone call from her and they're going to meet today at 11:30!!! Can you imagine? I'm all aflutter and it's not even me! Several years ago the two of us went to New York for a vacation and while we were up there we went to the adoption agency where he was placed and got a bunch of information and they registered him to be found, but nothing ever came of it, so we both assumed that was the end of it. I'm just excited! I told him he needs to take a picture with his cell phone and send it to me. He said, "We'll see." Lol!

We're home... boo.

So we're back from the cruise. Overall, I think we had a good time! Julianne had some issues with sleeping, but who can blame her? Her schedule was completely thrown off, not to mention the fact that she was sleeping in a strange bed in a strange place with strange people (Amanda) around. She woke up the first three nights and finally slept through on the last night (go figure). Then our first night back home she was up 4 times - it was like newborn days all over again! The last three nights she's had a hard time falling asleep and staying asleep, but tonight she seems to be doing okay (fingers crossed!). So anyway... the cruise was a lot of fun. The first day we were in Coco Cay and everyone went out to the beach. Julianne had a hard time because she was hot and tired and there was no place to lay her down. So I nursed her as much as I could and held her while she slept, but she eventually woke up so Mom and I played with her in the water. I think she liked the water but it was really cold so she didn't enjoy it too much. Mom watched her while Amanda and I swam out to the float - the water there is SO blue and SO clear, it's like a picture. Once we swam back in, Dad and I took Julianne back to the ship so she could get some proper sleep. The second day, we were in Nassau and she did very well while Mom, Amanda and I went shopping. The third day was a day at sea, so we went to the Splash Bash on the ship (again, water was too cold to enjoy it!) and we played with some toys in the afternoon and went to the sushi restaurant, Jade, for dinner. She was really crabby during dinner so I took her back to the room and put her to sleep, then finished packing. Once we got back in port, we collected luggage and drove home, where I realized I had left my breast pump in the cruise terminal and Amanda and I had to drive back to get it. The drive wasn't too bad because I introduced her to the celebrity letter game - I think we're still playing! Anyway... we had a good time on the cruise and I can't wait to go again!

The countdown is almost over!

We leave on the cruise tomorrow, but today is the day that Amanda gets into town. She's been sending me a countdown every morning since we were about 50 days out and it hardly seems real that the day is here! We're at Mom and Dad's house and even Kurtis is here since it's his birthday. We're going to have hot ham sandwiches for lunch, then Kurtis and I are going to go to the airport to pick Amanda up (I should probably let him know he's coming with me) and then we're going to come back here to celebrate his birthday with homemade pizza and cake and ice cream. I'm so excited that we leave tomorrow - I need this vacation! I need to pack, though. Julianne is all packed but I still have loads of clothes in the dryer that need to make it into the suitcase. And I need to find my bathing suit - what's a cruise without a bathing suit?!?

First Post

I'm not sure why I decided to get a blog... I have so many other websites to keep up with that I don't know where this one will land in the pecking order. But that's okay... hopefully this will help me keep up with day to day stuff!

Let's see... as of the first writing, Julianne is almost 7 months old. She's sitting, crawling, pulling herself up on stuff and generally making my day every day! Being her mom is the greatest thing I've ever done. I feel like she's the missing piece to the puzzle of my life, and now my life is complete. Even when she's screaming or crying and generally being a grump, I love her and I love being her mother. I feel so much more relaxed now that I did before she was here - I also feel like I have something to live for! (Not that I was suicidal or anything before today - she just makes life so much more worth living!) Everything she does is the greatest thing in the world. Especially when she smiles at me...

OH MY GOSH!

They're playing Honey I Shrunk The Kids on TV! one of my most favoritest movies of all time!