Mother's Day Out

J took the Punkin today for his weekly visit.  He picked her up at the sitter's house this morning around 11 and when I talked to him around 4, they were out on his boat.  I panicked for a moment till he reassured me that she was wearing a life vest and was sitting nicely on the seat in the boat, not about to hop overboard in search of her "sishie" friends.  To be honest, I'm not sure she knows that sishies live under the water that she was sitting on.  But that's okay, she has plenty of time to learn.

As much as I love the idea of her dad teaching her to love the water and being outdoors, it kinda bums me out that I'm not the one doing that.  I don't own a motorcycle, I don't own a boat, I don't even own a life vest I could use to take her OUT on a boat if I had one.  I really want to take her canoeing, but I think she's too young to understand that she has to SIT STILL at all times or the damn thing will tip over.  I'd like to take her hiking but her love of exploring and running away from Mommy would leave me running through poison ivy, trying to catch her and wrestle her back into a stroller.  Eventually I will do that outdoorsy stuff with her, but I wish I was the one able to do it now.  I know even in 2 parent families there's always going to be one parent who does all the "fun" stuff and one person who has to be the boss, but it totally sucks.  She's going to associate his house with playing with other kids and going out and doing fun stuff and my house with being at the sitter's all day, then naps and baths and mommy not being able to play because she's cleaning.  I need to work on making sure we do lots of fun stuff together, just the two of us.

So since Punkin is with her dad, I decided to go do something I haven't done since before she was born: I got a pedicure.  It was soooooooooooooo lovely!  Someone pampering my feet and painting my nails... ahhhhhhh.  I feel like I'm supposed to feel sad and lonely when Punkin is with J.  Like I'm not supposed to enjoying anything I'm doing while she's not here.  On some level I do, but today, for the first time, I really and truly enjoyed my "Konnie" time.  It was great to be able to relax and have someone take care of me for a just a little while!

Even if I did have to pay for it. :-)

Help me Jesus! Help me Jewish God!

Today was one of those days where all I wanted Julianne to do was take a nap. A long drawn-out nap that would allow her to wake up refreshed and pleasant and happy. Instead she slept for about a half hour, and only because she was so tired I put her in the crib at my parents' house and let her fuss herself to sleep. She woke up miserable and crying (as she always does after a too-short nap) and Nana had to take her outside to calm her down for a bit. I understand that she's a toddler, but MY GOD, does she have to get into EVERYTHING? I'm very glad that she's not a TV watcher, but today it would have been wonderful if she could sit still for just a half hour of Dora the Explorer or Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. She gets into every newspaper, every cabinet, every drawer... she climbs on top of every chair, every table, every piece of furniture in the whole damn house. I really enjoyed having Spring Break to spend with her, but it is EXHAUSTING spending every moment with her since there's no one else to watch her. I was supposed to go out last night but Mom told me after she already said she'd watch Julianne that she had plans and couldn't watch her. So I wound up staying home with her. Being home with her isn't a bad thing at all, but I think every mother out there can relate to the feeling of needing to get out for an hour of conversation that doesn't include the words "Mama" "Potty" "Good Girl" or "Night Night." I could have always asked Sammie to watch her, but Sammie lives so far away it would be ridiculous to drive all the way over there to drop her off, drive home to get ready, then go out, then drive back to pick her up and drive home.

In other news, I asked J if he was taking Julianne on Monday like normal and his response was "No, it's S's (his girlfriend) birthday." Wow. Must be nice to not have to worry about finding a baby-sitter and just be able to make plans whenever. I really want to just call him one day and say, "Hey, you have to take Juli for the next three days, I have an emergency, have fun, bye," and then just leave him to panic about what he's supposed to do.

But that's not nice.