All I want for Christmas is for someone to tell me I can have my next baby naturally!

     So, Julianne was born by c-section.  She was breech, and I never even had the chance to go into labor with her.  When they told me she was breech and it would have to be a c-section, I was DEVASTATED.  I had planned on a natural birth with no medication, laboring in the tub, walking around, etc.  But I wasn't given a choice.  I wish I had done more research before I agreed to the c-section.  Granted, I tried all kinds of things to get Julianne to turn, but it just wasn't meant to be.  Even the doctors tried to turn her with an ECV, but she didn't want to go, so off to the OR it was.  While I was in there, the epidural didn't take completely and I felt a lot of pain on the left side.  It truly was miserable.  I didn't get to see Julianne as soon as she was born - they whisked her to the other side of the room to weigh her and clean her up and I didn't get to see her till ten minutes after she was born... it makes me tear up just thinking about it.  How unfair.  How damn unfair.
     So I've joined the ICAN network for Florida and Orlando... and while I was initially excited about hopefully having a VBAC in the future, I've come to learn that Orlando is a very anti-VBAC city.  There are hardly any providers in the city that will let you even try for a VBAC, and the one or two who WILL require a huge up-front cash payment, which I don't know if I'll be able to cover.  There is certainly the option of a home birth, but I just don't think I'm into that.  I'm not attached to my home, and I can't pinpoint why, but I would feel better about having a baby in the hospital.  God knows why, especially when they'll be pushing for me to have a c-section at every turn, but I can't get my mind around a home birth.
     Granted, I'm not pregnant or even TTC at the moment, but one day I WILL have another baby and I'm trying to get all the information I can.  I think it really sucks that so many doctors and hospitals think birth is something medical that needs to be "cured" by having a c-section, when in reality, women have been having babies for thousands of years.  Our bodies know what to do... we just don't get the chance.  Jerks.