Can I clone myself?

The thing I hate the most about being a single mom is that I feel like I never have time for the Punkin.  It wasn't that bad this summer because I didn't have to go to work and we got to spend all day together, which I totally loved.  But I've only been back in school 4 days and I already feel like I'm neglecting her.  I've been trying to get to the gym regularly since we got back from vacation but I feel guilty whenever I go because she has to be in the gym daycare for an hour while I work out, which is an hour I could be spending with her.  So then it becomes a battle of what's more important: the long term goal of getting healthy and losing weight, or the short term goal of spending as much time as possible with Julianne.  I hate having to choose between the two.

Take today, for example.  I had to work regular hours (8 a.m. - 3:30 p.m.) but I didn't get out of school until about 4:00.  Drove to the sitter to get Punkin, then on the way home I stopped at Al.bertson's to get some stuff for dinner.  By the time we got home, it was 5:15, and I really wanted to go to the 6:30 BodyFlow class at the gym, which meant we had to leave at 6:15.  So I had an hour to get dinner ready and eat it.  I was also planning on Bren coming over after we got home, so I wanted to do the dishes, vacuum the house and change the sheets on my bed.  I started cooking dinner and doing the dishes at the same time, but it was difficult because Julianne wanted to be held.  When I made it clear that I was trying to cook dinner and couldn't really hold her, she decided to go wild.  She took off her diaper and started running around the house, and pooped on the throw rug in the kitchen and peed all over the living room carpet even though she is perfectly capable of using the potty and knows right where it is.  Sigh.  So instead of spending time with her, I had to clean that up.

Dinner wasn't ready till about 6:05, which means there were only 10 minutes to eat.  I figured I could eat when I got home, but Punkin needed to eat so I sat her down with a bowl while I got dressed.  So that was 10 minutes I couldn't spend with her because I had to make sure I was dressed.  We headed to the gym, I dropped her in the daycare, went to class for an hour, then picked her up and came home.  We got home at 7:45, then I only got to spend 45 minutes with her before bedtime.  We sat in my chair and shared a bowl of noodles (my dinner that I never got to eat!) and watched some TV before we went in her room and changed her diaper and put her  in jammies.  We rocked in the rocking chair while I sang "Rock-A-Bye-Baby" over and over (and over and over and over and over), which has really become my favorite nighttime ritual with her, and then she went to bed.

So all in all, I feel like I hardly spent any time with her today.  I'd say maybe an hour this morning getting ready to go and on the drive to work.  Then maybe an hour this afternoon on the way home from work and at the store.  Maybe 15 minutes at home while I worked on dinner, 10 minutes to the gym, 10 minutes home from the gym, and 45 minutes before bed.  So, in the 14.5 hours I've been awake today, I've only spent 3 hours and 20 minutes with Punkin, and I wouldn't call much of that quality time, since 68% of Punkin time was spent in the car.

I only spent 24% of my day with the love of my life.  I spent 55% of my day at my job that I... well... at my job.

I spent 7% of my day having "me" time, which is what I am constantly told is my workout.  But oddly enough, I don't think about myself during my workouts.  I think about Punkin.

I HATE HATE HATE that I can't spend more time with her.  I HATE HATE HATE it.